My Blank Check

Lord I want to do so many things…

Lord, I want to be a counselor,

But if the counsel you would have me provide looks different…

Let it be so.

Lord, I want to be a speaker for the masses,

But if the script you gives me sounds different or even silent…

Let it be so.

Lord, I want to lead people into worship,

But if that song needs to rise out of my own sorrow…

Let it be so.

Lord, I want to be a living sacrifice,

But if that means counting the cost and being faithful unto death…

Let it be so.

Psalm 118

Psalm 118

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”

This verse seems so simple and straightforward, but I think it’s one of the most difficult for me to truly understand. It reminds me to give thanks, remember that God is good, and that his love is unfailing. It reminds me that God has not made a mistake, does not need reprimanding, and has not allowed me to lose a battle. Instead, it breathes hope and allows for trust.

To me, this verse means trusting God in the middle of sorrow and believing that he is still worthy to be praised. It does not necessarily mean that my sorrow will be lifted, but I’m beginning to understand that it’s okay. I’m coming to a place where I feel defenseless but I find freedom knowing that my life is not my own.

God is reminding me that I have a lot to give thanks for, that he is my good Father, and that he has not forgotten me.  And God is teaching me how to quietly and beautifully bear my sorrow through his grace and power… Because my sorrow means that God will be near, and I desire his presence more than a life of contentment without his presence.

 “So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
And what if heartache still remains?
I'll trust you, my god I'll trust you.
'Cause You are faithful 

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
Find you on my knees, my knees.

When my hope is gone,
When the fear is strong
When the pain is real,
When it's hard to heal
When my faith is shaken
And my heart is broken
And my joy is stolen,
God I know that...”

4/12/15

 “Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.”  (Luke 5:18-19)

I feel like I can relate to this man. Sometimes I get to a place where I know that I need to encounter Jesus for healing but am unsure how to go about it. I realize I need Jesus, but I feel incapable of getting to him because of whatever “crowd” is in the way. Sometimes that crowd looks like my sin, apathy, lack of faith, or even just physical weakness and tiredness.

Lord, I know I need to eat but I cannot feed myself.

Lord, bring me to the water…  For I need to drink, but I cannot get there on my own.  

Let my faith bring me to the feet of Jesus.

Join the Cause

Sometimes it 's great to have a cause, a reason for doing things. I've realized, though, that sometimes it's better not to have a cause. Let me explain.


These days it seems like there's always a catch... the BOGO cookies at the grocery store really aren't, a free lunch really isn't, or a good deed is actually in search of an IOU. There are a lot of different things to rally behind -lots of good things! But sometimes these good things and our good intentions can cause us to get distracted from an even better thing. They can take our minds off the bigger cause: To seek first the kingdom of heaven.

It seems like there is always an underlying agenda in our interactions. They're always in search of something... a signature, an email address, or a purchase. But what if we loved others with the sole intention of just loving them. Not walking up to people expecting anything but approaching them for them.

Living a different kind of life takes approaching life a different kind of way. It involves living a life of engagement and loving people in real ways for no real reason. I believe this kind of love permeates far deeper than any other. This love points hearts to a perfect supernatural kind of love.

The kind of love that Jesus modeled was a self-sacrificing, all encompassing, and limitless kind of love. I am always amazed by Jesus' death on the cross. There were no conditions that he expected us to meet or thank you notes that he expected to receive. Jesus loved freely. In following that example, let us not "charge" others for the free love we have received, but give generously that it may turn others to the source.