Stories from a Sick Teacher

This week has been a humbling reminder of a lot of different things, including God's sovereignty.
If you asked me to plan out my week, I probably would've filled it with things that I know would forsure bring me enjoyment, ease, and joy. My desire for comfort leaves little room for scheduling some hard lessons learned through suffering into my week.

On Monday, I was able to wake up a bit earlier than normal which gave me time to be still before the leaving for work. Trying to get back in the word is something I've been discouraged by but oh my, it was so good! I love having God at the center of my life and work! It brings so much joy!

Tuesday started out much the same. Woke up a bit earlier and had some time to read. As I got ready, my stomach hurt a little bit... it just felt empty and like I needed to eat something. I drove to school encouraged by the time I had spent with the Lord and was excited to spend another day leaning on his strength as I went about teaching and planning.

By 10:45am I had thrown up twice and decided to head home. I felt awful and nauseous. After fighting back sickness the entire drive home, I stumbled up the sidewalk, pausing to throw up in the bushes before I climbed up the stairs to my apartment.

I continued throwing up for the next 3 hours and dozed in and out of sleep on the bathroom floor. I finally reached out to my friend Hope and asked if she would take me to the clinic. I waited and mustered up a few prayers... Lord, please help.

I heard Hope knock on the door.

I love that part of the story. Where I am helpless and unable to even sit up and then help comes. Sound familiar, eh? If that story isn't ringing a bell, I will explain later.

In case you're dying to know the end of the story, a few pills and good conversations later I was on my way to recovery. Still weak and exhausted, but feeling well cared for by Hope and my God.

I'm not gonna lie, I hadn't felt that sick in a couple of years. I was pallid and weak and drained. But at the end of the day, I couldn't help but feel so thankful! I've lived in Tampa for about a month and a half and am incredibly grateful that I had a good friend I could call who was able to drop everything and come to my help. Thank you Lord for community! I had just been to that same clinic the week before to refill a prescription so I knew it was close by and already had my info on file. Thank you Lord for your planning! It was Tuesday so my students had mobility lessons aka I wasn't missing any lessons. Thank you Lord that you know all of the details of my life!

This little excerpt from my short life here on earth reminds me that I am weak. I live in a fragile body that gets sick, tired, and breaks down. This world isn't my home, and that's a good thing! I get to wait with hope and experience more and more of how God loves and cares for me.

Thank you Lord for protecting and providing for me through friends and your sovereign timing.

Teacher Teacher

This post is gonna take a different spin... I am still convinced that the title is appropriate. I don't know everything and I'm well aware, but this is the irony. I'm a teacher. Aren't teachers supposed to know things? Aren't they supposed to be super smart and educated? After all, they teach others, right? How can you teach other people without knowing a thing or two yourself.


After 5 years of college, 3 of those years which were spent studying in detail how to educate visually impaired individuals, and countless hours of internships and observations I feel... weak. You would think that I could solve any problem and spit out every eye disease and how to treat it, but that's just not the case. In my pride, I have convinced myself that I'm now capable of handling everything at my job alone. After all, I should be "the expert" right? But God has quickly been bringing to my attention that no amount of education makes me self-sufficient. I am totally in need of Him, not just for the things that are out of my control, but also in the things that I have the illusion that I can control on my own.
This job is no different than surrendering the future, or sickness, financial hardships, or even my next breath to Him. Although those situations seem like a no-brainer to bring to God, I am just as needy as a teacher because underneath it all, I am a sinner who is in constant need of grace.

As I look to the future and what this school year could be like, I desperately want God's help. After only a week in, I am exhausted and left feeling helpless. But praise be to God whose grace is sufficient! No, I don't know it all and I might be the first teacher willing to admit that. But what I do know is that He who is in me is greater than anything I could conjure up on my own. He is Abba Father. He is the Great Physician. He is the Alpha and Omega. He is the Rock of Ages. He is the Great I AM. He is Creator. He is Savior of the world. He is Redeemer. He is Wisdom. He is Teacher... and He is more than qualified to equip me to teach.