Leviticus 16

This morning I was reading through Leviticus 16 and it made me think of a comment a friend said the other night at community group. She shared how hard it is for her not to rely on our works to make us righteous. I feel that! But check it out. So God has established the basis for relationship with Himself, which is by the shedding of blood. Hebrews 9:22 says “For without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sins.” So it is only through blood that atonement is made.

The chapter I read today specifically deals with Yom Kippur. I never knew this before but on this day Jewish people hope that their good works outweigh the bad. (You can definitely fact check that, but that’s the idea I was getting from it). A commentary I was reading says “If God could only be approached through blood sacrifices, how do Jews think they can approach Him with their own works, which God declares as “filthy rags in the sight of God.”

So it only makes sense that Jesus is the answer. I know you probs already know this, but it was such a good reminder to me that my own standard of a “good work” doesn’t even come close to making things right with God.

The only things I’ve ever heard about Leviticus are basically how hard and boring it is to read. I have been so pleasantly surprised by how much I am enjoying it.  It is making me realize how holy God is and I always walk away from the reading being more thankful for Jesus. It also making me realize how costly our sin is, not just in terms of separation from God, but how much atoning these people had to do. (I don't think I would've had enough doves, bulls, or rams to sacrifice if I lived back then…)

The one word that keeps summing things up for me as a study God’s word in Leviticus is ‘Holiness’. It all comes back to the problem of sin. That God is holy, we are not, and we can’t be in relationship with Him. God makes a temporary fix for the people, but it is highly specific and difficult to keep up with. Through the High Priest, the people of Israel are able to make a temporary covering for their sin by following the law, but it just isn’t sustainable. Eventually, they sin again and have to repeat the whole process again.

I am thankful that all of these regulations in the Old Testament point to the hope we have now because of Jesus.

“Where, O death, is your victory?

    Where, O death, is your sting?”

56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

1 Corinthians 15: 55-58

Thank you, God, for making a way for sinners to be near to you again. When I read the Old Testament I am reminded just how serious my sin is but at the same time of just how great your desire for us to know you is. Help me to trust in Christ alone for my salvation and not in any of my own attempts at righteousness. Thank you for loving me first!

Exodus 30-32

Moses is on Mt. Sinai for 40 days and 40 nights receiving instructions from the Lord on how to prepare the tabernacle (the ark, the table, the lampstand), the altar of burnt offering, the courtyard, oil for the lampstand, the priestly garments ( the ephod and the breastpiece), the altar of incense, atonement money, basin for washing, anointing oil, incense, etc.

The Lord says to Moses: “Go down, because your people, whom you brought out of Egypt, have become corrupt. They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf. They have bowed down to it and sacrificed to it and have said, “These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.”

Then he comes down from the mountain and sees that the Israelites grew impatient and fashioned an idol.

When I read this passage, it makes it so clear how wrong idol worship is. I am reminded of how quickly my own heart runs to worship other things.

Lord, help me to remain steadfast in you. Keep my heart and affections from turning to other things in the waiting. Lord, remind me to trust your timing instead of believing the lie that you have forgotten about me.  Remind me that you are working all things for my good and that I don’t need to take matters into my own hands. Instead, help me to cease from striving and to wait with my hands outstretched to you.

Exodus 13- 17 God makes a way

I know that most people, Christian or not, can recount the story of the Israelites crossing the red sea. It’s a story, which if I’m being honest, becomes numb to my ears. I’m not amazed anymore because I’ve heard the plot time and time again. It sounds so ridiculous to say that... It just doesn’t amaze me anymore that God allowed the Israelites to escape the Egyptians by walking on dry land through the sea. “Yea, I know. I’ve heard” Tends to be my attitude. But today, by the grace of God, I was able to once again hear this story with awe and wonder.

Let me just set the stage. The Israelites have just escaped Egypt and are being led by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fie by night. A commentary that I read says this:

“Now the interesting thing is that by far the closest route to Israel would be right up the coast. It'd be the easiest way to go. Right through the land of the Philistines, right on into the land. They could actually make the journey within a week or so and be in the land. But God knew that they were not yet prepared. That if the Philistines would come out to meet them with war, their faith in God was not yet strong enough. Fear would grip their hearts; they would seek to return to Egypt.

So the wilderness experience is necessary in order that they might have the experiences of trusting in God, learning what it is to have faith in God, learning the power of God. So that when they did finally come into the land and face the enemies, they would have great confidence and faith in God to deliver the land into their hands. So we find the wilderness experiences are experiences where they are learning how that God can meet their needs no matter what they be. That God is sufficient to take care of their needs, and how that God will answer and will respond to their prayers and to their needs.”

This is thought-provoking. So the journey that took hundreds of years did not actually need to take that long? It’s interesting that God chose to delay their entry into the Promised Land because he knew they still had a lot to learn. It’s also interesting that God is more concerned with the process of our sanctification instead of just immediate results. By reading that passage, it seems that God is more concerned with preparing their hearts through the journey in the wilderness than leading them quickly and safely into the Promised Land with unchanged hearts.

There is no one like God. I can’t think of anyone I know who would be able to withhold something good because they know that by doing so, it will be best for us. We just don’t have that kind of ability to comprehend and see past the current conditions. I’m so thankful that God’s mind does not work like my mind.

When I read this story this morning, it reminded me of my own journey through “the wilderness” last year. I can remember planning to do my internship in Texas in the spring. Throughout the process, I felt so reluctant to surrender that last semester of college to the Lord. “But God, you just don’t know what I need” were my thoughts. After a lot of wrestling, God finally gave me the ability to pry my fingers from something that I held onto so tightly and say “Thy will be done.”

It would be much easier had it ended there, but God had something very different in mind. After all of this wrestling and surrendering, I found out that I was missing 3 credits and could not do my internship until I completed them. Hmm, didn’t see that one coming. Once again, I found myself crying out to God. “I just don’t understand…  I’m trying to do what you wanted” I pleaded.

Reading the account in Exodus I think my response to the situation was very similar to the Israelites’ reaction: “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?” They look around and noticed that they have mountains to the left and right, the Red Sea in front of them, and the Egyptians closing in behind them. My modern translation of this event goes something like “What the heck God? Are you serious right now? We’ve been following your lead and you brought us here. Do you even know what you’re doing?”

Thankfully God can confidently answer yes; I do in fact know what I’m doing.

Now, if you haven’t heard the story and you’re wondering what happens to the Israelites… They make it out alive by the power and provision of God. He swallows up the entire Egyptian army into the sea. As for the Israelites, God makes a way for them to pass through totally unharmed while also giving them a lesson in faith.  After Moses and the Israelites witness God’s power, their response is worship.

A year later, I can look back and thank God for withholding. Although the waiting felt frustrating and purposeless at the time, now I thank God that he used that time to prepare me. Had I gone to Texas when I thought it was right, I would not have experienced God’s provision in the same ways. The church that blessed me so much during my time in Austin wouldn’t have existed.  I wouldn’t have met the same students and worked with the same supervising teacher. I wouldn’t have encountered the same people. I also probably wouldn’t have met Hunter.

All of this to say, I am just so thankful for God’s timing. I am thankful that He leads us into impossible situations to show us more of His glory. I am thankful that through faith, I can be confident of He who goes before me and trust Him more than I can trust myself. I am thankful that those moments often lead to worship and remind my soul of the powerful and faithful God that I get to serve.

Now if you haven’t heard the story and you’re wondering what happens to Christina…I am still walking through the wilderness. Some days are filled with bursts of faith and other days are filled with bouts of faithlessness. Throughout the journey, my emotions waver. Throughout the same journey, God remains present and steadfast. Similar to the Israelites, I am so quick to forget to trust the God that is leading me. There are a lot of details that I’m uncertain about. I don’t know the route that I’ll take or how long the journey will last. But I do know that I’ll make it to the Promised Land and that one day it’ll all make sense. And I do know that this life will end in worship... not only to God, but in front of God.

A Poem

Carefully scribbled thoughts went from heart, to pen, to paper

Each private sorrow finally acknowledged

Everyone knelt.

Not beneath but beside her pain

And control was given back in the form of light

The decision to strike a match & overcome

Some hands were shaking, others sturdy

Some burned fast & all at once

Others took time.

But all of them were, in their own way, very beautiful.

{I wrote this poem after my last group therapy session (Fall 2014). All of the young women in my group wrote down things that we wanted to burn. These were my thoughts during the beautiful healing process.}