"He goes
before me"
Today I woke
up to my first day on my own in Austin. It’s a weird adjustment and it still
hasn’t really registered that I am so far away from home. I went to a new
church and was so refreshed by remembering the God I serve and how worthy of
praise he is. There is something unbelievably comforting about being in a place
that you aren’t familiar with but feeling safe because of who God is. It is a
great comfort to my soul to know that home is literally where the heart is
because God is home and he lives in us.
As I waited
for the service to begin, I sat in a large high school gymnasium. While I sat in one of many black folding
chairs and waited for 11:15, this thought occurred to me. I was startled by the
thought that I knew absolutely no one. As I scanned the large room, I became
aware that out of hundreds of people in this building, I knew no one and was
known by no one. Or so I thought.
As I began to
worship and through singing reminded my soul of who God was, a more important
thought occurred to me. “It’s not about
people knowing who I am.”
It’s easy to
get thrown off course by fear and uncertainty being in a new place by myself.
But, this morning I was reminded that the position I’m in is okay. So what if I
leave Austin and nobody remembers me. That’s not the point. My purpose is to
point to God. If it’s about HIS fame and
his glory, then I exist not to promote myself, but to make much of him. Amen
for that!
During the
first worship song, I heard a loud mumbled voice. A few feet behind me, a young
man in a wheelchair was worshiping at the top of his lungs. As we sang the
words “I give all to you”, I could hear the sincerity and surrender in his
voice. After the song stopped, I heard the young man breathing heavily and gasping to catch his breath. He held back nothing. I was moved, and I know the Lord was
too, that a man who has to work harder to say a few words worshiped louder
than everyone in that service. Now that is pouring out praise to the King.
I cried tears of awe as I was reminded of how
worthy God is of praise. I continued to sing but could not help but listen to
the beautiful cries of a heart abandoned to the cross. I think that a deep
insecurity keeps the majority of us (myself included) from worshipping God in
full spirit and truth. I can often get caught up with wanting to praise him,
but in a composed way. I don’t mind singing the songs, but I desire to seem
externally put together. Although internally I am moved, I just want to fit in
with all of the other people standing with hands at their sides and eyes fixed
on each other instead of the cross. But today, I was wrecked by the display of
worship that I witnessed. The God that I praise is worthy of so much more than
I tend to give him.
“As she stood behind him at his feet
weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her
hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.” Luke 7:38
Just like the woman who saw Jesus and fell at
his feet in worship, I want to be so fixed on Jesus that I am free to worship with
an unveiled face and heart. This morning was a beautiful reminder of intimate
worship to a most worthy Savior.
Today I am
thankful that I can take comfort in these things:
o
That
He goes before me
o
He
will never leave me nor forsake me
o
He
who began a good work in me will bring it to completion
o
I
am His
o
He
anoints my head with oil
o
He
knows my name
o
He
is a good father
I haven’t been
here long, but I have already seen evidences of God’s faithfulness. I praise
God for the ways he has gone before me! Although I have no idea how he will
work, I am confident in my God and His promises.
Lord, I feel
your hands of grace resting upon me. I know that you are for me and that you
are with me. In my time here, let my life point to you. I pray that as I go
forward, I will not forget who you are and that I will keep my hope in you all
day long. I am absolutely dependent on you, but I know that you will never
leave me nor forsake me. Thank you for the ways you have gone before me and the
ways that I will see your faithfulness and provision in the months to come. You
are worthy of the highest praise!
