Patience With Joy

Waiting is hard. Especially when it comes to engagement. Last month, the Hughes family took a vacation to the beach. Forrest and Kristen Hughes (Hunter’s brother and sister-in-law) had just gotten back from a trip to South America. They brought some fun things back –weird fruit snacks, farmer’s tans, cortisona cream –but there was one in particular that made the crowd go wild… CHOCOLATE! 

We all gathered around the coffee table as 3 exotic chocolate bars emerged from Forrest’s bag. He explained the flavor of each and where they came from –Peru, Colombia, hint of espresso, milk, dark…

As the whole family looked on the chocolate bars with eager anticipation (I could see Bill Hughes wiping away traces of drool), Forrest added an important twist. “We learned the right way to eat chocolate.” Kristen and Forrest had been properly educated on a new approach to chocolate eating. He explained that you first break off a piece and listen for the “Snnaaap” as it breaks. The more crisp the sound, the better. Now, contrary to the American way, South Americans just place the chocolate on their tongue and patiently wait for it to dissolve. No biting. No chewing. Just enjoying the fullness of the experience.

That sounds lame.

But we all obliged and entertained this new chocolate eating procedure. I picked up the milk chocolate bar. “Snnaaap.” My fingers tingled as the tension build and finally released, a treasure waiting for me between both thumbs and forefingers.

As the morsel sat on my tongue, I tasted more flavors than ever before…. A chocolate eating experience different from any I had previously experienced.

It was smooth. The small piece literally melted in my mouth and the creamy goodness spread across my tongue. As the flavor dispersed, I tasted new hints of chocolate that were so foreign to my “stuff my face with Dove chocolates and eat them in seconds” approach.

Tonight as Hunter and I talked about engagement and our excitement, this previous experience came back to mind.

Let’s not rush through the sweetness of engagement just to get to the “good part”. I want to savor this time, knowing that God is intricately involved in the process. I was to embrace the tension of wanting so badly to be married, but also waiting patiently and rejoicing in the waiting. I want to acknowledge that this method of tasting chocolates is very new and foreign to me, but that it might… just might… be better than the way I’ve been doing it. Yes, the desire to just want engagement to be over and rush through to the marriage is there. But God is suggesting I try a new approach. A more savoring approach.

It’s difficult. A lot of days I lack this new perspective. But God is reminding me to slow down, sit quietly, and savor. And through this process, not only do I experience chocolate in a whole new way, I get to experience God in a whole new way.

Joy of the Redeemed

My loving fiancé reminded me of this truth this morning found in Isaiah 35.

“The desert and the parched land will be glad;

the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.

Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom;

it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.

…

They will see the glory of the Lord,

the splendor of our God.

Strengthen the feeble hands,

steady the knees that give way.

…

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,

and the ears of the deaf unstopped;

Then shall the lame man leap like a deer,

and the tongue of the mute sing for joy.

For waters break forth in the wilderness,

and streams in the desert;

And a highway shall be there,

And it shall be called the Way of Holiness;

the unclean shall not pass over it.

It shall belong to those who walk on the way;

…

But the redeemed shall walk there.

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return

and come to Zion with singing;

everlasting joy shall be upon their hands;

they shall obtain gladness and joy,

and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.”

It speaks of the redemption God brings to his creation. “The blind will see… there will be streams in the desert.” And He makes a highway back to Zion, our home, that is called the Way of Holiness.

This promise blows me away. It is overflowing with hope and only possible because of my redeemer who shed his blood for me. I get to be a partaker of these things, not through any effort of my own, but by the covering Christ has made for me to be seen as the holy and blameless, pure, undefiled, bride of Christ!

Hunter told me of how it makes him think of the aisle I’ll get to walk on July 22. The death and impurity of this world and of ourselves in wiped away and we are called Holy, set apart by God FOR God. We walk towards Him, towards home, on that day and all the days after. 

Thoughts on Forgiveness

You know how sometimes everything you’re learning in your life starts to overlap and it couldn’t be clearer that God is trying to get a message across?

Well you guessed it, it’s happening to me. And the topic is forgiveness.

I’m a piece of work when it comes to this topic, but God is really good at working with difficult and messy pottery. He’s like one of those tattoo artists whose job it is to cover up a really regrettable tattoo decision. (Don't act like you've never impulsively gotten a butt tatt with your friends..)  I’ve seen some pretty crazy transformations happen on the show… a woman with a sleeve of junk food and donuts that they were able to turn into a veggie tattoo sleeve. That’s pretty impressive! −to take two completely opposite things and be able to creatively see how it can be changed into something better. While the comparison is very loose, hopefully you can make some sort of connection with it ;)

Anyways, I digress.

About 2 weeks ago Hunter and I had a conflict arise. At the root of it were a lot of miscommunicated thoughts, misinterpreted thoughts, and shame. I won’t speak for Hunter, but I will speak for myself. I was extremely frustrated and bitter. Not only did I emotionally feel angry, but physically my body felt tense. The best way I can describe it was feeling like I had clenched fists. I admitted to him that I was reacting this way and that I knew it was not of the spirit but of the flesh. I felt helpless to react differently. Eventually, I cried out to God and asked for him to help. And he did. It felt as though God had applied a healing balm… my muscles relaxed and I fell into his arms.

The next day at our Easter service, the sermon was on Colossians 3:12-14

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

In summary, this passage commands people to put on these 5 things:

1.) Compassion

2.) Kindness

3.) Humility

4.) Gentleness (Meekness)

5.) Patience

Putting on these things lead to these 2 actions:

1.) Forgiving one another –surrendering your right to hurt someone who has hurt you

2.) Bearing with one another – an ongoing action

·         I can forgive Hunter because God has forgiven me much.

·         Forgiveness is only possible with your eyes fixed on the cross. If my eyes are any place else, my self-righteousness makes forgiveness feel nearly impossible.

(Parable of the two debtors)  : Who am I to withhold grace when my own debt far exceeds theirs…

In the case of my conflict with Hunter, I was a sinner being offended by another sinner.

This pales in comparison to my sin against a holy & perfect God.

This Good Friday was a timely reminder of that.

There’s no doubt that forgiveness will continue to be a challenge in my life. My first reaction to being hurt is usually to withdraw in order to protect myself from further damage. Then bitterness sets in along with defensiveness –if I don’t stand up for me, who will? But, through God’s word and the counsel of others, I am aware that these reactions only create a further distance and separation. By saying “Yes” to forgiveness, we are able to see how God takes broken relationships and redeems them. I can honestly say that God has brought Hunter and I’s relationship even greater sweetness and closeness following the difficult conversations. That’s what God does, He redeems!

As we walk forward, we know this is just the start of a long road of “I’m sorrys” and difficult “I forgive yous.” But, by God’s grace, we can walk forward assured that God will not abandon his children. We can confidently own our shame and come out of hiding knowing that we are first and foremost forgiven by God through Christ, and that changes everything.