Thoughts on Forgiveness

You know how sometimes everything you’re learning in your life starts to overlap and it couldn’t be clearer that God is trying to get a message across?

Well you guessed it, it’s happening to me. And the topic is forgiveness.

I’m a piece of work when it comes to this topic, but God is really good at working with difficult and messy pottery. He’s like one of those tattoo artists whose job it is to cover up a really regrettable tattoo decision. (Don't act like you've never impulsively gotten a butt tatt with your friends..)  I’ve seen some pretty crazy transformations happen on the show… a woman with a sleeve of junk food and donuts that they were able to turn into a veggie tattoo sleeve. That’s pretty impressive! −to take two completely opposite things and be able to creatively see how it can be changed into something better. While the comparison is very loose, hopefully you can make some sort of connection with it ;)

Anyways, I digress.

About 2 weeks ago Hunter and I had a conflict arise. At the root of it were a lot of miscommunicated thoughts, misinterpreted thoughts, and shame. I won’t speak for Hunter, but I will speak for myself. I was extremely frustrated and bitter. Not only did I emotionally feel angry, but physically my body felt tense. The best way I can describe it was feeling like I had clenched fists. I admitted to him that I was reacting this way and that I knew it was not of the spirit but of the flesh. I felt helpless to react differently. Eventually, I cried out to God and asked for him to help. And he did. It felt as though God had applied a healing balm… my muscles relaxed and I fell into his arms.

The next day at our Easter service, the sermon was on Colossians 3:12-14

“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

In summary, this passage commands people to put on these 5 things:

1.) Compassion

2.) Kindness

3.) Humility

4.) Gentleness (Meekness)

5.) Patience

Putting on these things lead to these 2 actions:

1.) Forgiving one another –surrendering your right to hurt someone who has hurt you

2.) Bearing with one another – an ongoing action

·         I can forgive Hunter because God has forgiven me much.

·         Forgiveness is only possible with your eyes fixed on the cross. If my eyes are any place else, my self-righteousness makes forgiveness feel nearly impossible.

(Parable of the two debtors)  : Who am I to withhold grace when my own debt far exceeds theirs…

In the case of my conflict with Hunter, I was a sinner being offended by another sinner.

This pales in comparison to my sin against a holy & perfect God.

This Good Friday was a timely reminder of that.

There’s no doubt that forgiveness will continue to be a challenge in my life. My first reaction to being hurt is usually to withdraw in order to protect myself from further damage. Then bitterness sets in along with defensiveness –if I don’t stand up for me, who will? But, through God’s word and the counsel of others, I am aware that these reactions only create a further distance and separation. By saying “Yes” to forgiveness, we are able to see how God takes broken relationships and redeems them. I can honestly say that God has brought Hunter and I’s relationship even greater sweetness and closeness following the difficult conversations. That’s what God does, He redeems!

As we walk forward, we know this is just the start of a long road of “I’m sorrys” and difficult “I forgive yous.” But, by God’s grace, we can walk forward assured that God will not abandon his children. We can confidently own our shame and come out of hiding knowing that we are first and foremost forgiven by God through Christ, and that changes everything.