Questions that seek to understand are life-giving.
I'm going to be honest, I don't entirely understand feminism or what drives it so deeply into the hearts of many young adults. I have a feeling it's about much more than gender equality. My belief in God as a good and purposeful creator causes me to praise him for the differences in gender. I think it is a beautiful thing that he created male and female in his image. I see my status as a 23 year old female not as something that limits me or makes me unequal to men. No, I see it as a deep honor to be so thoughtfully created with unique purpose. I see myself as infinitely valuable, not because of my gender, but solely because I am created in the image of the Father.
As I sat in a sauna with my passionately feminist sister, I laid aside my own "points" and opinions and asked that God would help me genuinely seek to understand why she believes so strongly what she believes.
Some of the questions used to understand were:
What is feminism?
The equal treatment of men and women. So feminism isn't just about women? No girl, feminism is for both genders. So why don't they call it humanism? Umm, huMAN. It has the word man in it. Plus women are the ones who are more often treated unequally. Well, Katie even female has the word MALE in it.
What really frustrates you about the way society treats gender?
From a young age, gender stereotypes are ingrained in us. Separating boys and girls during PE when there's no physical difference yet and telling girls it's because the boys are stronger. Mom and dad pushed Alex to be better at math because he's a boy and males should be better at math. You could've been so smart in math. you weren't bad at it, you were told you were.
Mom and dad don't believing I (Katie) have a medical problem with my sleep but they care about Alex's blood pressure. It's because women are seen as weak and when we complain it's not as significant. But when a "strong male" complains, it must be serious.
Girls are raised to believe and fantasize about being mothers and wives. They aren't career-driven or pushed to be as successful as men. They just want to get married.
Mom and dad basing her intelligence off of her SATs and not her potential. It negatively effects her.
Well, what about self motivation. That only goes so far. What about students whose parents aren't involved in their education (students from low SES backgrounds). Feminism doesn't stand up for them. It's different to have parent's that just don't care than parents who are telling you that you can't.
So what's the ideal?
Gender wouldn't exist. There would be no male or female
But even if gender didn't exist, there would still be societal conflict. People would still kill, and steal, and commit crimes. Even if we didn't have to worry about makeup or appearance, we would find another way to occupy our time with ourselves. People are inherently selfish and inwardly focused. Solving the gender problem is just a small slice of the problem.
Eliminating gender doesn't make you more valuable. I know that. Then where do you find your value. God.
Okay, what does God say about your value? About your value as a woman.
Well here's what the bible says about your value.
The Bible says your role as a female (in marriage) calls for your husband not only to honor and respect you, but to DIE for you. To love love you as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her. I don't know about you, but to me that sounds like a God that really cares about you being valued. And as wives, women are called to submit to their husbands, who are submitting to God as their ultimate authority. So when a woman is following her husband, she can be confident that it is not the selfish motives of man, but the sovereign care of God that she is submitting to.
So why can't we just eliminate the middle man (husband)? That's just unnecessary. Why can't each person just listen to God on their own? If you don't want to submit to a husband, God gives you the freedom not to marry.
So do you really think God is a man. The bible opens up with "He." Do you really think he isn't above gender...
I believe God is the creator of gender.
The Bible is so sexist. It's one-sided. Why did only sexist men write it?
It is divinely inspired by God and it's infallible. Even if it's written by man, it's really the words of God without error, regardless of what gender wrote it.
Really? Do you really believe that? It's hard to believe that a loving God would be so sexist. Yes God inspired it, but it isn't infallible. You're trying to tell me that sexist men didn't have any influence on writing how men were created first and then women came second. And they didn't have any influence over blaming Eve for eating the apple. Yes, I know Adam chose to eat it by his own will, but they still try to place the blame on her by saying she offered it to him. I just can't believe that a loving God would write that... and you really think God is a man? I think he's a strong black woman.
As the conversation progressed, it became apparent that neither one of us would budge. A mind that is not believing truth won't understand truth. That's the hard part about trying to share God's heart with people who do not hold it to be true. It doesn't make sense. Why should it make sense! So I chose to diffuse the conversation and turn to God. I know that I'm completely helpless to change hearts. It's a work that only God himself can do, so I turn to him.
Here are some of my unorganized reflections:
The issue is not gender.
There is defensiveness and bitterness that need to be healed. -Towards parents
Self-worth that needs to be re-examined. Self-esteem issues. Not something that you can do by yourself. Need to look to GOD. Your value is established. It doesn't need to be earned, it needs to be thoroughly believed.
"The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." 2 Corinthians 4:4
"They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts." Ephesians 4:18
"But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away." 2 Corinthians 3:14
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