Psalm 63

Lately it seems like God is really chipping away at my heart. From learning about how to be generous with money to realizing that honor and esteem do not belong to me. I’m here to serve. “But God, my time can be used better someplace else. I’m not being challenged. The world doesn’t care if my student learns the routes to her classes. Why can’t I be in ministry? Why here? Why this?”

Christina, my son left His throne to serve.

Wow, what a powerful reminder filled with grace and truth. Jesus, the King of Kings, became a man but didn’t live as a king on this earth. He knew his worth, but never once demanded to rule an empire or for the current king to fork over the throne which so rightfully belonged to him. He bowed to the Father’s will and humbly served.

I’m learning how to live moment by moment by God’s strength. It’s like a constant lifeline that I’m connected to… I can’t unplug myself for a single second without crashing.  I’m tempted to think that I can just go, recharge, and leave until it’s time to run back again. However, I am becoming so aware that I won’t get very far. There’s not a single second that I don’t need to be drawing my strength from Him.

Im finishing week two of my internship at the Rehabilitation Center for the Blind and I’m exhausted. I’m spiritually and physically dry. 

“You, God, are my God,

Earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

My whole being longs for you,

In a dry and parched land where there is no water.”

Psalm 63

My soul is so thirsty for God. The only problem is that I’m neglecting the first part of that passage: “Earnestly I seek you.” I desperately know I need to drink and I know where the well is, but I’m either too lazy or prideful or busy to actually go.

Lord, help me run to you. I don’t have the strength on my own to even get there, so strengthen my feeble bones and bring me to your fount. I am weak and needy. Please refresh my soul and help me rejoice in You!