I just didn't know

I did not know at the time,

That signing up for college meant:
Committing finances, freedom, and “finding” faith
Choosing a sensible career
Developing in maturity
An increased awareness of my fears of growing up
Breaking free from bondage of self and slavery
Diving headfirst into a major I knew nothing about
And staying longer and differently than anticipated.

I did not know at the time,

That following Jesus meant:
Giving up my plans, my pride, and my preferences for sin
Learning to love sacrificially
Reckless Obedience
Being called to love the seemingly unlovable
That it would cost everything.

And all the while I could not see it, oh, I could not even perceive it.
Oh but Lord,
I would not trade this sweetness for any amount of knowledge, other than the knowledge that your love knows no bounds.

And I still don't know.