Delicate.

Susceptible to being easily Broken or Damaged.

Likely to be Destroyed or Overcome.

Vulnerable to the smallest threats

But how miraculous that through the Tossing and Shaking

During the violent showers

That the flower emerged Untouched. Unharmed. Undamaged.

Planted in a soil so devoid of nutrients

There was no chance it would one day bloom.

But the flower was not deprived nor did it wither.

Instead as the clouds rolled back, it emerged more radiant and lovely than before.

Surroundings and circumstances defeated

By an ever glorious cross

And only through that precious blood that was shed

Could life be brought forth.

Where did it’s nourishment come from.

From the Son. 

12/9 Draft

To treat no person as if they are an interruption or an "inconvenience" to the schedule I have in mind. Time is not mine but belongs to the creator of time.

Making a response with gentleness

What a blessing it is to be "interrupted" for the sake of setting aside myself to introduce others to Him in whom I have found my hope.

Deny yourself... I feel like God is constantly having to reteach me that my life is not my own.

God, I am so far from these things. But I pray that my hearts anthem would be "not my will, but yours be done."

I just didn't know

I did not know at the time,

That signing up for college meant:
Committing finances, freedom, and “finding” faith
Choosing a sensible career
Developing in maturity
An increased awareness of my fears of growing up
Breaking free from bondage of self and slavery
Diving headfirst into a major I knew nothing about
And staying longer and differently than anticipated.

I did not know at the time,

That following Jesus meant:
Giving up my plans, my pride, and my preferences for sin
Learning to love sacrificially
Reckless Obedience
Being called to love the seemingly unlovable
That it would cost everything.

And all the while I could not see it, oh, I could not even perceive it.
Oh but Lord,
I would not trade this sweetness for any amount of knowledge, other than the knowledge that your love knows no bounds.

And I still don't know. 

11/24/14

Carefully scribbled thoughts went from heart, to pen, to paper
Each private sorrow finally acknowledged

Everyone knelt
Not beneath but beside her pain
And control was given back in the form of light
The decision to strike a match & overcome

Some hands were shaking, others sturdy
Some burned fast & all at once
Others took time.
But all of them were in their own way, very beautiful.

Let's call her... Pink

I thought she was “evil”, no good, and lacking in truth

But today my calloused heart was able to feel

Her pain

Was able to appreciate

Her story

Could relate to

Someone who seemed so different

A girl who I once looked at with only condemnation and judgment

Was now seen through a lens of grace

Lord give me clean hands and a pure heart

The Color Gray

The color gray

I was attracted to you

Who knew

That the darkest shade of gray, could be replaced by blue

Curtains long closed

Open up to sunlight

A weary traveler

Has victory in sight

And as I peel back layers of disguise

The long road ahead has become a sunrise

As night became day, I was fully aware

That being dressed in color was not a one time affair

While dark walls turn white

And heavy garments tear off

My body took flight

Carried by a hook to His cross

As sand has been sifted

And a soul shaken by fire

Burdens light and lifted

And my gaze became fixed  higher

An Honest Prayer

It's time.

I'm ready for the last of these walls to be broken down
And I'm ready to heal your way

... I'm ready to experience a love I have never known before
... A love created by and rooted in you

And God, I place my raw and fragile heart in your tender hands
Will you take care of it for me?
It is yours for eternity.

And I await the day when I am face to face with you
And you open your hands

When my eyes behold a heart that seems familiar,
but I only faintly recognize

For it will be restored and all the old will be passed away.
And the old bleeding heart I once knew, has been made new.