How come dying people seem to have more life than living people?

Why do we wait until we die to live?

Why we would wait until it’s time to leave a party to start dancing?

Or until the moon comes out to find the sun?

We long for life but seek it in the strangest of places.

In a dream or a job or an adventure

We look for life in things that cannot give life in return.

But what if we looked for life in things that were alive?

What if we looked for life in a living God?

Why does it seem that dying people are the ones doing the living?

Because once we die to self, we are free to live!

Because the more we die, the more He lives!

From Screams to Songs of Hope

Tonight at work I almost missed a cool lesson that God was trying to teach me through the strangest of circumstances. So basically here’s how it all went down.

I clocked into work at 7 pm and cracked open my textbook. As I began to read the content, with an extreme amount of focus, I retained all of the information, during the quietest shift of my life and got a 100% on my exam. The End.

Jk.

In a perfect world, that’s how things would’ve gone but sometimes life is rough and I’m not perfect therefore God has a lot to teach me. So here’s what really went down.

I arrived at work at 6:55 pm.  I was so on time! But the computer was on the struggle bus so I sat there for about 20 minutes until I could clock in. All was well, it was quiet, too quiet… Then all of a sudden, a knock. I go to the door to let in a lone baseball camper. I sit back down at the desk when all of a sudden, “tap tap… tap tap tap.” I let in a handful of baseball campers. I sit back down when all of a sudden “Pow pow pow!” I let in a stampede of baseball campers.

For the next 3 hours this quiet night turned into a mixture of lost keys, a distribution of ping pong paddles, and listening to the “symphony” of screaming campers playing ping pong about 15 feet from me. What was happening!

At about 10 o’clock I sat there in utter confusion just thinking to myself how can these boys have so much energy? I wondered how can they possibly have the stamina or desire to continue playing ping pong for 3 hours straight? Then it hit me. God is extremely purposeful with every word he has placed in the Bible. I thought specifically of the phrase “child-like” faith.

“Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” Mark 10:15

I’ve always thought of this as referring to having the innocence of a child in order to fully understand the Gospel. But what if that’s not all it was referring to? Yes children approach life with innocence, but they also approach life with an insane amount of energy. As I sat there watching these children play ping pong for 3 hours straight, and by the end, saw them acting like it was just as fun and exciting 3 hours later as when they first started all I could think was, “What if this was the way I approached following Christ?” What if 3 years after becoming a Christian I approached every word God spoke to me and every moment spent with Him like it was just as exciting as the moment I accepted Him into my life? What if 3 years later, I had the same exact energy as I did that day I emerged from Wescott fountain drenched and shaking from a declaration stating that “I have found hope and He is Jesus!” What if…

Tonight I am grateful that God is not only Father, Deliverer, Restorer, Creater, Protector… but that He is Teacher. I’m thankful that God loves me uniquely and personally, and that He would change my plans and meet me at a reception desk in Tallahassee through the screams of children. But above all, I am thankful for the screams that came from another child, in a manger, thousands of nights before this one. And I’m thankful that scream brought life, and from that life, hope. A hope to which I, and billions of others, now live!

It’s funny how sometimes we can be so aware, but in such the wrong ways. “Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear?” (Mark 8:18)

 What seems to fleshly ears as inharmonious clanging is quite actually heaven screaming songs of hope. 

6/10/14

“GOD MEANT IT UNTO GOOD” (Gen. 50:20).

“God meant it unto good”—O blest assurance,
Falling like sunshine all across life’s way,
Touching with Heaven’s gold earth’s darkest storm clouds,
Bringing fresh peace and comfort day by day.

’Twas not by chance the hands of faithless brethren
Sold Joseph captive to a foreign land;
Nor was it chance which, after years of suffering,
Brought him before the monarch’s throne to stand.

One Eye all-seeing saw the need of thousands,
And planned to meet it through that one lone soul;
And through the weary days of prison bondage
Was working towards the great and glorious goal.

As yet the end was hidden from the captive,
The iron entered even to his soul;
His eye could scan the present path of sorrow,
Not yet his gaze might rest upon the whole.

Faith failed not through those long, dark days of waiting,
His trust in God was recompensed at last,
The moment came when God led forth his servant
To succour many, all his sufferings past.

“It was not you but God, that sent me hither,”
Witnessed triumphant faith in after days;
“God meant it unto good,” no “second causes”
Mingled their discord with his song of praise.

“God means it unto good” for thee, beloved,
The God of Joseph is the same today;
His love permits afflictions strange and bitter,
His hand is guiding through the unknown way.

Thy Lord, who sees the end from the beginning,
Hath purposes for thee of love untold.
Then place thy hand in His and follow fearless,
Till thou the riches of His grace behold.

There, when thou standest in the Home of Glory,
And all life’s path ties open to thy gaze,
Thine eyes shall see the hand which now thou trustest,
And magnify His love through endless days.
—Freda Hanbury Allen

     This devotion seems to be the cry of my heart these days. As I read this, I was reminded and promised of what is to come and the Glory my eyes will one day behold. With every sentence, the Lord whispered a new sweet promise to my heart. Each word a drop of fresh water to a weary soul. 

     The first promise I was reminded of was that God IS working. As the author so wonderfully put it, "All things "work’—they are working; not all things have worked, or shall work; but it is a present operation." I do not have to sit around and wait and hope that God will show up. He has shown up. He IS here and He IS at work regardless of what my faltering heart tells me.

     Second, our life has set sail on a Divine course once we decide to hope and trust in Jesus. That Divine course always sails towards glory and God is the one who provides the winds. No steering of our own can change it's direction and God has already mapped out every twist, turn, detour, and ultimately, our destination. My prayer upon realizing this second truth is that God would teach me how to follow. I pray that He would help me take my efforts off of trying to steer and map, and that i would simply sail. Lord, help me to be obedient because no amount of my own beating against this ship will cause me to change its course.

Lastly, His love permits. 

But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” Romans 9:20

     We simply aren't looking at the same picture as our molder, therefore, we should stop deceiving ourselves into thinking we are. The Lord sees from beginning to end. Therefore, if the Lord permits, perhaps, just perhaps, it is because he has walked the same road, is looking at the road, and knows the road that we are to walk. 

     His love permits. This means that everything, joyful, sorrowful, and everything in between has been filtered through love. To be honest, I can't fully understand this but what I do know is that the afflictions we experience are not merely inconveniences, they are holy sorrows and divinely constructed in love. 

Lord, help us to grasp your hand and fearlessly follow, trusting that when we open our eyes we will behold a place that we have never seen before... A place that we have only heard about in Your Word. A place that although our bodies have never been, our soul knows we are home. Lord, I pray that we would be content with obedience on the journey and that we would sing all the way home, a song so sweet that others would learn the words and sing with us. Thank you for these promises that I know you will and are working for our good.

Embracing my cross

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

Matthew 16:24

This verse is quoted all the time it seems like. “Take up your cross” is the message so often received but how about the message “embrace your cross”? An image comes to mind of a follower of Christ embracing, hugging, a cross in humble obedience. Someone not just “taking up their cross” which could imply any amount of dragging it or shuffling of their feet, but actually meeting the very thing that is a symbol of suffering and death with a tender willingness saying “I choose this.”

I know that I forget that suffering is at the heart of the Christian ministry. In fact, I often find myself being surprised by suffering making an appearance in my own life. I thank God that these past two weeks he has been teaching me all about how, contrary to what I believe, the life of a follower of Jesus is designed for suffering in the most beautiful way.

“Death is at work in us” 2 Corinthians 4:12

When the Apostle Paul spoke these words, I can only imagine the grace he had experienced at the hands of God. He had experienced redemption through the blood of Jesus, the glory of personally encountering God, the sweetness of a life brought out of darkness into marvelous light, and the faithfulness of God in seemingly impossible situations. This is a man who knows a thing or two about being obedient when the Lord calls, even if that obedience means walking head on into suffering.

            As I look at the suffering nature of Paul’s ministry, I’m confronted with how undeniably glorious God is. And I think that’s exactly the point God is trying to get across in 2 Corinthians 4:5-7.

“For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”

When we suffer, God gets the glory. As it says in verse 7: as we suffer, we are merely vessels on display showing that there is someone far greater at work in us. As it said in 2 Corinthians 4:12 how “Death is at work in us”, I believe that suffering is absolutely necessary to help us die to self and rise with Christ.

Suffering quite justly magnifies the greatness of the lord. We have what a friend of mine likes to refer to as mountain top seasons and the valleys of our lives. How could the mountain tops seem so glorious without the valleys? They just can’t. If life were all mountain tops, those glorious moments would seem far less grand and those mountains a lot more like sidewalks.

            “But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:13

In order to experience the fullness of Christ, we become partakers in His suffering as well as His glory. I often forget the calling we accept once we become Christians to die to ourselves and grow in holiness is accomplished through suffering. Suffering sounds scary, but how beautiful is it that while in the midst of our suffering, we know that it is literally making us more like our savior? 

With that mindset, I understand better why Paul counted all as loss and chose suffering time and time again. If the point of our lives and the cry of our hearts is to know Jesus, I pray that we would stop at nothing to accomplish that. Lord, help us to “count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord. For his sake we have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that we may gain Christ!” Philippians 3:8

“And after you have suffered a LITTLE while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10

5/21/14

I find myself here at 10 o’clock on a school night at work just wondering what the heck. God, why do I always end up here? I’m literally wondering here because I’m sitting at the same desk where I had worked all school year and although summer has come, I’m still at the same exact place where I was. Not only the same exact place, Tallahassee, but the same exact literal place, this old desk. I’m tired and very susceptible to spiritual amnesia. But God gently reminds me that this is no time for despair! The words of a familiar worship song fill the background of what began to fill like a lifeless office. 

“Savior, He can move the mountains

My God is Mighty to save

He is Mighty to save…”

I couldn’t help but react by audibly saying to myself, “You’re so right!”

How could I even for a second doubt that the God who can move mountains could forget me, much less, make a mistake about where he placed me for the summer? There is so much comfort in that! And as I walk through a season that I might not have chosen for myself, I know that there is so much more at work here. If my God who can move mountains says that I should be here, and not only stay in this city, but sit at this desk for another season, then I’m going to trust Him!

“For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.”

Psalm 33:4

“10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.”

Ephesians 6:10-20

"I will climb this mountain,
With my hands wide open"

Health, Happiness, and Holiness

I’ve been so challenged lately by not defining success by the world’s terms. Every place I turn seems to tell me that I’m chasing the wrong thing. When I look at all of these people around me, I feel like I’m not as successful as them and don’t have much to show for myself. I’ve been bombarded with this lie constantly, but God was and is faithful in reminding me of why I was created.

 Here it is: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

When I have this mindset of “not feeling like I have much to show for myself”, do my intentions show that I am loving the Lord or loving Christina?  The truth behind this lie is that when I’m feeling this way, it’s a result of me trying to promote myself instead of God. I want people to see me and all of my accomplishments, when in reality, I have nothing good to stand on.  If I were to live like I believe the gospel, I would live in such a way that only wants to glorify God because He is good and I am sinful, and because being aware of my sin I know that it is far better that He be praised for His Holiness than I for my failures.

The second important truth that I’ve learned has to do with what we deserve. Here’s a little example to illustrate what I’m talking about. The other day, I woke up sick the morning of my final. I was very confused because I just could not understand why I was sick when God was supposed to keep me healthy, especially for my test. I actually couldn’t have been more wrong. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God wants us to be healthy or happy. He wants us to be Holy. (See 1 Peter 1:16; 1 Peter 2:9). God does not want us to be more comfortable, He wants us to be more like Him. I think the trap that I (and maybe more people than I realize) fall into is that comfort and holiness do not go hand in hand. If we base our existence as a Christ-follower off of “God’s plan of comfort for us”, we will be severely disappointed when we look at our lives compared to those around us. But if we are looking towards holiness, we will understand that we are indeed blessed.

   To sum up this past week, I was disappointed time and time again when I felt like I didn’t get the things that I deserved. But here’s the thing… God never promises any of those things that we feel we deserve. Instead, he gives us the one thing we do not deserve, Jesus.  

“Every morning I am up before the sun. Three times a day I walk two miles to fetch water for my sister, my grandmother, and me. While I walk, I dream of going to school.”

Today God is being faithful by reminding me that I am ungrateful.  I have been reminded, not once, but twice today about how people in Africa walk miles to retrieve water. As I read stories like the one above, my first reaction is to pity them or get sad. But the following scripture kept coming to mind:

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Corinthians 4:17

It seems insensitive to say that walking miles just to get clean water is light or momentary. What could I possibly know about this when I live on a college campus where clean drinking water is available 20 ft. from me. But these “light and momentary troubles” are not compared with other hardships; they are examined next to “eternal glory.” This changes things. As people in Africa experience the weight and exhaustion of seeking clean water, we also encounter the difficulty in seeking living water in the midst of everyday circumstances.

As I’ve gone throughout my day, I have been bombarded with decisions, assignments, commitments, and the like. I sound so foolish thinking back to a point today when I conversed with a friend about how I was unsure if I wanted to get a 4 year or master’s degree. Do I not understand that people dream about just setting foot into a school, degree or not! In all of the decision and expectation placed on us, we lose sight of Christ. Sometimes I feel as if I quite literally have to walk miles to experience living water. Sometimes, I need to get as far as I can away from the computer and cell phone that seem to beckon me, and instead walk to my Savior who beckons me.

With all of that being said, the question that emerges is “What can we do to experience more Jesus in our everyday lives?” The answer: Less doing. We can stop busying ourselves and just rest. We can stop busying ourselves and look for Christ who reveals Himself in all aspects of our lives.

And as we face our daily discomforts and calamities, we too experience an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. For we know that we are found in Christ, and what a joy it is to be found in Him!