Week of Weakness

God has been teaching me a lot about grace this week, so these lyrics to the song “Scandal of Grace” seem fitting for the occasion. They say:

"Grace, what have You done?
Murdered for me on that cross
Accused in absence of wrong
My sin washed away in Your blood

Too much to make sense of it all
I know that Your love breaks my fall
The scandal of grace, You died in my place
So my soul will live

Oh to be like You
Give all I have just to know You
Jesus, there's no one besides You
Forever the hope in my heart

Death, where is your sting?
Your power is as dead as my sin
The cross has taught me to live
And mercy, my heart now to sing

The day and its trouble shall come
I know that Your strength is enough
The scandal of grace, You died in my place
So my soul will live"

This week I’ve been challenged by the question “What does grace actually mean?” I know that I am saved by grace, through faith (Ephesians 2:8). I know that “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). But for some reason, I just could not wrap my mind around why grace was important.  But God in His faithfulness chose to meet me where I was at to answer my question.

God chose to make me aware of His grace by first making me aware of my sin. God helped me come to the realization that I am indeed guilty of sin, and that sin should’ve equaled death. I also came to the realization that I wasn’t given death. I was given a Savior. This is grace. Not getting what you deserve.

What is grace? Grace is the gospel. Grace is Jesus putting aside his status to become flesh and dwell among us. Grace is the King of Kings dining with sinners and washing the feet of Judas, who He was aware would soon betray Him. Grace hung there on that cross while I yelled, “Crucify Him!” and in response said, “Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.”

“The scandal of Grace, You died in my place so my soul will live!”

Stewardship

Today I was challenged to steward my life for eternity. What does that mean? Well I’m still trying to figure that out… but here’s a start. The word Steward comes from the Greek words oikos, meaning “house” and nemo, “to manage.” So stewardship concerns the management of a household. In a Biblical sense, I think of stewardship as taking care of what God has entrusted to us. Stewardship challenges me to manage God’s house, heaven, while I’m here on Earth. But how can I manage God’s house? Why would He leave me with this huge task that I doubt I can even accomplish? Well first off, God wouldn’t. God knows that you are completely capable through his spirit to do this.

God has entrusted us with the Great Commission and to “Go and make disciples of all nations…” Matthew 28:19

When I hear this, I immediately focus in on the word “entrusted.” When we entrust a person with something, we expect that they will take care of it the way we would. For example, I entrusted my pet fish with my friend so I could be here this weekend. I knew that I would have to leave and would not be able to feed my fish by myself, so I asked someone whom I trusted and knew was capable to do it. If I didn’t think she would feed and take care of him, I wouldn’t have even considered asking her in the first place.

Although making disciples is a bit more important than feeding a pet fish, I believe God’s attitude towards us is similar. Would God entrust us with something that he felt we could not accomplish? Absolutely not! He even promises us the resources we need to do it! God gives us power through the Holy Spirit to make these disciples. How could I expect my friend to feed my fish had I not left her fish food to do it with? In the same way, how could God possibly expect us to make disciples of all nations without equipping us? He doesn’t. His power is ready and available to work through us! I pray that we would all be good stewards and good managers of the kingdom by accomplishing the work God has entrusted to us!

Man of Sorrows

“Sent of heaven, God's own Son

To purchase and redeem

And reconcile the very ones

Who nailed Him to that tree “

(Man of Sorrows, Hillsong)

I can’t even wrap my mind around these lyrics. That the Son of God came to die for sinners, but not only die to save them, also be put to death by the very people he was there to save. Can you even imagine? Don’t just read those words, truly try to imagine it.

Imagine you are from a high class family and in humility have decided to serve someone who society deems as poor. Imagine that they are sitting at the dinner table while you wait on them. Imagine if every time you went and kneeled to serve them, they spat in your face. That they criticized every action you did. I really don’t have a good example because I can’t think of anyone who served the way Jesus did. But just imagine. As the one doing the serving and constantly encountering an ungrateful heart, I would grow so weary and angry. I could see myself in this situation just getting fed up and eventually yelling at the person, maybe even kicking them out of my home and telling them they need to be more grateful.

This idea of loving those who persecute us is so hard to grasp because when I examine my own heart, I know that in my selfishness I could never want what’s best for people who hurt me. I don’t have the capacity to love like that. But Jesus does. Jesus came down from the highest of highs, leaving his throne, to dine with sinners. He left all of that while knowing the people he served wouldn’t embrace Him as the King he was. Yet he served unceasingly until his final breaths. He chose to suffer for people who literally spat in His face as He served them.

But this is where my example and the actual thing differ tremendously. Instead of getting frustrated and banishing these people from His presence, Jesus chooses to give them more. He gives them His life! He gives them EVERYTHING.  

What if this is what we began to strive for in our relationships with people in our lives: To love and serve and suffer for people without any limits. To not get angry when people don’t give us the praise “we deserve” but simply resolved to love them because he loved them first.

“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!”

-Philippians 2:1-8

This is such a difficult challenge, if you were to try to do it alone. But what if we asked, Jesus, the very man who lived it out in His life here to do the same through us!

Let this be our prayer:

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” –Galatians 2:20

Jan 11

“Consequently, your own life becomes the hospital ward where you are taught the divine art of comfort. You WILL be wounded so that in the binding up of your wounds by The Great Physician, you may learn how to render first aid to the wounded everywhere.”

-Streams in the Desert

The thought that came to mind when reading this was a little kid falling and getting hurt on the playground at recess. This is one of the most devastating things that could happen to a kid. You walk to the nurse’s office with your head drooping and your spirits crushed. You look out the window and watch your classmates screaming and laughing while the nurse cleans your cut and can’t help but feel unlucky.

I relate my own “cuts and bruises” to the feeling that this little kid during recess time has. But God, why me? Out of all the times to happen, why did it have to be now? But I’m going to miss out on the fun they’re having.

The verse that comes to mind when asking myself the question “why would God allow me to suffer?” is Romans 5:3-5

 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

When I’m looking suffering head on, it’s so tempting to want out of it. That makes sense, I mean why would anyone want to suffer? But that verse makes it so clear that what suffering produces in our lives is so valuable. My suffering is not to make me feel left out or less important, my suffering is to bring me face to face with my Savior. When I think of who is cleaning my wounds, I am reminded of how blessed I am to suffer!

Take Up Your Cross

As I sat and listened to my “Christian Playlist” on iTunes, I realized that I was ashamed to call myself a Christ-follower because of my actions. I sat there and knew I was wrong. I knew that the fight that I was trying to win, I had already lost. I had let my pride win. But I also knew that a more important victory had already been won on my behalf that I could never earn. That was the victory that my eyes needed to be fixed on.

As I turned around, tears in my eyes, and said, “You can have my seat”, I felt a humility that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Having to admit I was wrong and give up to something I was clinging onto so tightly was difficult. Having to unclench my fists and look the person I wronged in the face and say, well actually you see I’m acting like a child… that’s not a fun thing to do. As I tried to fix my mistake, things didn’t exactly go how I thought they would. She began to retaliate with “I’m not sure why you’re so upset, I told you that was my seat number…” the tears kept rolling. But then something happened.

It’s a strange thing when our walls come down. We can be whoever we want to be, but only for so long. Today what is valued most by society is strength. We want people to see us as someone who is strong and independent. It isn’t attractive to be weak or vulnerable, two characteristics that Christ values.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 “God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 1:28-31

The human side in both of us came out and instead of trying to keep up this front with her, I finally admitted, “No no, it’s not the seat. That’s not important to me. I’m just crying because I’ve had a rough day, that’s all. Please don’t feel bad!” Without even thinking, she reached over and hugged me. Yes, the girl I was just arguing with was now embracing me and comforting me. She quickly left her seat and came to sit near me. She asked what was wrong and continued to hug me. Now I was just crying because of how touched I was. As you can imagine, I was a hot mess.

As I looked into the eyes of my new friend, all I could see was Christ. I saw Christ reminding me of His promises and shifting my focus from something as insignificant as fighting over a bus seat, to reminding me that we are called to be His hands and feet. I saw His eyes of mercy looking right back at me reminding me that even though I constantly fail and get it wrong, His forgiveness is waiting and it’s not too late to turn around (literally) and get it right. I felt His embrace. I saw His nail pierced hands reminding me that He died so that I didn’t have to fight. He conquered death so that I could rest in His victory and not my own. 

            We sat and talked and she apologized for what had happened. All of that aside, we just talked. We talked about school, and life and enjoyed each other’s company. We quickly realized we had a lot more in common than the fact that we both rode red coach buses. As we talked, she told me about how she had not always come off so harsh but was now hardened by years of betrayal and disappointment. It hurt me to see how she had been carrying all of that for so long. I told her that it was no coincidence we were talking because I had experienced a lot of similar hurts. I listened and knew God was at work in our conversation.

The book I had been reading when the whole argument started, “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore, is all about letting go of past hurts and giving them to God for healing. I offered it to her to pass the time on the ride knowing that God didn’t just happen to give me the desire to bring it.

There’s something powerful about having the opportunity to be used by Christ when we’re the least prepared. (We’re never worthy, that’s for sure!) But it’s the times when I’m most overwhelmed by my own sin  and I need to preach the Gospel to myself that I can do so unselfishly as a witness to others. It’s the times when I realize that I’m ill as well that I can sit with others in the same boat and do so out of compassion instead of fear of infection.

Lord, help us to keep our eyes focused on you. The second we remove our gaze is when our vision gets blurry and we forget all you have done for us. I pray that you would give us hearts for the lost but remind us that we’re constantly in need of you as well. Keep us in tune to what you’re doing and help us to desire your will above our own. Amen..

 “For our light and momentary troubles are producing for us an eternal weight of glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:18

 "Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?"

Matthew 16:24-26

Glorious Ruins

Glorious Ruins

Hillsong

VERSE
When the mountains fall
And the tempest roars You are with me
When creation folds
Still my soul will soar on Your mercy

PRE-CHORUS
I'll walk through the fire
With my head lifted high
And my spirit revived in Your story
And I'll look to the cross
As my failure is lost
In the light of Your glorious grace

CHORUS
Let the ruins come to life
In the beauty of Your Name
Rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign

And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of Your wings
I will love You forever
And forever I'll sing

VERSE
When the world caves in
Still my hope will cling to Your promise
Where my courage ends
Let my heart find strength in Your presence

 We’ve heard analogies on how the way our heavenly Father disciplines and corrects us can be compared to a father disciplining his son. We hear how he does it out of love and for our good. And although I firmly believe that God loves me and I’m sure the son in that analogy knows his father loves him, you can’t help but shriek in the midst of the discipline because it’s still unpleasant.

            Right now I'm just feeling worn out. I feel like in this season of my life it's just been trial after trial, and as I sit here and write, I feel like God desires my brokenness. It's a weird sentence to write, but perhaps God wants me to stop striving and finally allow him to repair the broken areas of my life (his way, not the way I tend to patch them up.) 

There has not been a single time in my life where I’ve left a season of God’s discipline lacking anything. I’m puzzled by my attitude in times of hardship because I think that I would rejoice in times like this, knowing that like it says in James “knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:3-4). If I truly believe what God’s Word says, I would be joyful throughout the whole process, awaiting the end result where I can see that God is producing more of His character in me.  

Whenever I think of God refining me, I am reminded of this scripture:

“And I will put this third into the fire,

    and refine them as one refines silver,
    and test them as gold is tested.
They will call upon my name,
    and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
    and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

Zechariah 13:9

The thought of being refined through fire scares me! Fire is painful and unpleasant. Fire burns and scorches. Fire engulfs! But listen to what it says in Isaiah:

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:2)

The Lord promises that when we face these trials, we will not be scorched! He tells us that we will not be engulfed by the flames but that he will be with us and provide safe passage! So why should we rejoice in trials and ‘Glorious Ruins’? Because we know that we are being broken to be made anew. Because God is tearing down our idols to build our faith in Him! Because we are going through the fire to be purified and not broken, but reshaped and remade to His service. Lord, help me to walk through the fire with my head lifted high, and my spirit revived by Your story. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast Spirit within me. 

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Single and not waiting

Posted by Rachel Selinger on Thursday, October 24, 2013 ·
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Flickr photo by Acy Varlan

I’m 23, I just graduated from university, and I’m single.
Many of my friends are married, and a few are starting to have children. And I feel as if I just graduated from high school again. You could say my life is in transition. And it’s true; I am in the middle of shifting myself from university to the career world. But I’ve started to wonder about whether it’s right to refer to my singleness as an in-between stage.
What exactly am I in-between again?
“It’s the first day of the rest of my life.” I recently I heard someone on TV say this about her wedding day, and it really bothered me. While I don’t want to discount the gift of marriage, I must say I’m a bit confused and frustrated with this sentiment. I’ve heard the cliché before, but I suddenly felt the weight of it. As if it equates marriage as the start of life, or at least the good part.
Don’t misunderstand my frustration; I think there is a beautiful element of starting a new family with your spouse. I’m all for godly marriage. But what I’m afraid of is viewing life through the lens of marriage as the goal. For waiting to get married before life starts.
I’m afraid, because I’m afraid it has happened to me. I’ve been living like I’m waiting for someone to get here. And it isn’t Jesus.
I’ve wasted my time, my energy, and my emotions on this concept that singleness is just a waiting room for a relationship. I’m tired of this view that my life begins when I wake up next to my husband, because I’m pretty sure my life began 23 years ago when my mom gave birth. And this mentality has robbed my joy.
As much as I’d like to place all the blame on Christian culture, the perpetual “Have you met anyone yet?” question the world asks me, and the reality that my Facebook feed looks more like a Pinterest wedding board these days, I am convicted of my own failures.
I’ve been living like God owes me something. Like he hasn’t held up his end of the deal. He has given me the desire for relationship and marriage, and he just hasn’t followed through.
I’ve been living under the impression that I deserve a relationship.
I’d be lying if I said Christian culture does much to inhibit this mentality. There seems to be a deep understanding and appreciation for the gift of marriage, but not so much for the gift of singleness (if it’s treated like a gift at all). Rather, singleness is something to be cured. Like I’ve got a disease, and introducing me to your single friend might perhaps cure us both. Singleness is the lump of coal, the gift that is never on your Christmas list.
There are at least a handful of us standing around, wondering what happened. (After all, I have been pretty nice this year.)
But it’s never been about being entitled, or even about being nice. I have to stop thinking that I’m doing something wrong here.
Well actually I am, but it isn’t about fixing something that will magically make a boyfriend appear. It is about changing the direction of my heart.

 “I’d rather have the right God than the wrong man.” –- Christen Rapske

People talk all the time about pursuing people or things for the wrong reasons, but maybe we pursue God for the wrong reasons. Maybe subconsciously I’ve been treating God like he’s a vending machine. And my pursuit of him has really been a pursuit of someone else.
When did Christ cease to be enough?
And when did I stop finding my identity, self-worth, and fulfillment in Him, only to place my life on hold for someone I’ve never even met?
Each day is a gift, and I’m not waiting for it to get here. It is present in every moment, and it begins anew daily.  Man-less or not, I want to wake up every morning and be excited because I get to spend my day with the God who created the universe.
And I want to do that for the rest of my life.