Long-Suffering

10/26/16

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship.”

Sacrifice is one of the first words that come to mind when I think of how my job has been producing growth in me lately. It has required a lot of sacrifice and dying to self, which is extremely painful for a prideful sinner like me. 

Being a living sacrifice involves being totally engulfed in flames. It’s not a task that allows you to choose which parts you are willing to give up. Instead, it involves surrendering everything to the flame knowing that it is completely impartial in choosing what it consumes… it only stops until everything has been burned.

I’m also learning what it means to be long-suffering. An example of how God is stretching me in that way was an IEP meeting I held yesterday for a student. As the primary service provider for the student, it is my responsibility is to write the draft myself and facilitate the discussion of the document at the meeting. Don’t get me wrong, I get lots of good feedback at the meeting, but the majority of the work falls on me to manage the meeting. I’m pretty much on my own to write the 20 page document and have very little experience or support on how to do so. 

As I mentioned in the previous post, my attitude towards writing this IEP has really changed. While originally my objective was to just get it done, my heart began to change and desire to work at it wholeheartedly and really want to do a good job on it for the sake of my student. The hour before the meeting was quite stressful. The system was not working properly so I had to retype a few of the pages. At 2 o’clock it was game time. All of the attendees whom I had invited were there –the guidance counselor, IEP specialist, general education teacher, O&M specialist, Nurse, Coordinator of visually impaired programs, and the school psychologist. 

By 3:30, we had discussed some very practical ways to emotionally support the student and I was thankful for such in-depth conversation by the participants. But one by one, the majority of the attendees left (since school gets out at 3) and eventually I was left to finish the IEP on my own. I sat there trying my best to type in the information, but felt like I really didn’t understand many of the parts. 

Earlier in the meeting, there was discussion about what to do about his class schedule. 

You see, most of his teachers don't know what to do with him and because of that, they don't want him in their class. His reading teacher told me that she thinks it’s a waste of her time to teach reading to a kid who can’t see the words. Then, when we asked the culinary teacher if the student could take his class, he said that he didn't think it was a good idea. Teacher after teacher kept turning us away. My heart was saddened. Why is nobody fighting for him? Nobody wants him i their class. Nobody is staying for his meeting. Nobody wants to take responsibility for him. People are giving up on him. 

Normal me probably would've been very annoyed and frustrated that nobody was there to help me, especially since I was new at this. But something very different happened. I felt God working in my soul. 

As I sat there by myself, I was completely calm. I found it interesting that at 5:45, I was the only one still there fighting for this student, even when he didn't attend his own meeting. What would make me want to do this? Nothing from my own strength. It was totally God who gave me the joy and desire to keep fighting for this student!

So how does any of this relate to sacrifice? I truly believing that God is teaching me about sacrificial love through this student. I am being challenged to sacrifice my time, my comfort, my plans, my own convenience all for him. All for a student who I know I won't receive a "thank you" from or any other recognition for that matter.  

So what's the point? Why fight for someone who I know will not give me anything in return? For someone who is totally undeserving... For someone who doesn't even want to fight for theirself? 

Because God.

His Word sums it up best:

Romans 5:6-8

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

This student and I are really not so different. Before Christ, I was totally helpless. I was undesirable. I was totally undeserving of God's love and totally deserving of Him turning his face away. But God kept fighting for me. While others might've said don't fight for these sinners, God saw a broken people who were worth fighting for. He saw people who were lost causes and would've been totally just to leave us that way! But instead of giving us what we deserve, God stepped in and gave everything for us. Jesus knew that some would acknowledge what he has done and some would turn away and He still chose the cross? Does this give you chills? Does this good news fill your eyes with tears?

Let this news make you become undone! We are so deeply loved. 

It is because I know and believe this truth it that I can continue joyfully sacrificing and suffering for this student. I love because he has loved me. God loves you my dear student! Lord, let my long-suffering and joyful sacrifice point this student to the greater sacrifice and joy found in You!